WonL
The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...
Monday, May 18, 2009
Dear red tape - enough already!
My physical therapist told me her goal is to make me as comfortable as possible until the surgery. I am currently going to p.t. for lumbar traction twice a week and she recommended that I get a take-home lumbar traction machine for the other days. After my last appointment, she handed me a piece of paper that had three steps (1) call insurance company; (2) give them this code; and (3) ask them these two questions. How very nice of a medical professional to make this easy on me.Then comes the insurance.
I called with my code. The guy says he can't find anything. I ask him to try again. He does so with a sigh.
Him: "There it is. Oh, this code is wrong, it's telling me 'miscellaneous.' You need to ask the people who rent the equipment for the code.
Me: "That is where I got the code."
Him: "I don't know where you got that code."
Me: "That's what I'm telling you, the code came from the lumbar traction machine rep."
Him: "That is who you need to speak with - get the code from them."
Me: "Is there another way to look up the piece of equipment?"
Him: "No."
Me: "Really? Not by manufacturer name or description?"
Him: "No."
Me: "I find that hard to believe. You don't have a table of contents or something. I can narrow this down.
Him: "No. I need a correct code."
So I google to try to find the code - call back and get a different person.
Her: "It's not the wrong code, ma'am, it's just a miscellaneous code. Getting a new code will do no good. We need more information before we can determine if we cover it."
Me: "Phew, okay, what do you need?"
Her: "We need a letter of medical necessity from your doctor, a prescription from your doctor, the manufacuter's brochure, photographs of the equipment, a serial number, three price quotes..."
Me: "Oh my God, nevermind. I will just live with the pain."
Her: "Okay, thanks for calling and have a nice day."
I am now convinced that people turn to whacky home remedies not to avoid doctors, but to avoid insurance.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
My morning so far...
Convo with myself...Hmmm, my left eye is blurry.
Why can't I see out of my left eye?
Crap. (blink blink).
Maybe my contact is dry. (insert rewetting solution).
It's still blurry.
Maybe there is something on my contact. (looking in mirror).
Okay, I can't tell.
Damnit, I'll just take it out (looking in mirror and playing with left eye)
Law-rah, you are an idiot, your contact is gone.
Look again (pulling eyelid in all directions)
Nope, just gone.
Dummy, maybe that is why your eye is blurry.
Just put a new one in (grabbing disposable contact and putting in new left one)
Hmmm, still blurry.
Now, it feels really funny too.
Just take it out. (pulling out contact to find there are actually two contacts in my left eye now)
Law-rah, you really are an idiot.
Convo with PMBR (sorta)...
Me: Hi, I'm taking the Barbri 3 day course and wanted to see if I could change my date.
Her: What? Your taking what?
Me: The Barbri 3 day course.
Her: I don't know what that is.
Me: (realizing I'm on the phone with PMBR) Oops, sorry. I meant the PMBR 3 day course.
Her: The what? I don't know what that is either.
Me: I'm scheduled for July 13, 14 and 15 for the PMBR course.
Her: Let me check the schedule.
Me: (waiting)
Her: We don't have anything on the schedule for those days.
Me: (confused) Are you sure? It's at Georgetown. Could you check again.
Her: What did you say this was again?
Me: Wait, is this PMBR?
Her: No, this is [insert company name that is in no way affiliated with the bar exam].
Me: Okay thanks. (Yep Law-rah, you are an idiot.)
Convo with the lady at the Egyptian Embassy...
Me: (after calling for over an hour) Hi, I'm coming in today to get a visa and I had a few questions.
Her: Visit our website at www.egyptembassy.net
Me: I did. Your hours are not posted on the website.
Her: 9:30-1pm
Me: Okay, I have one more question.
Her: Visit our website at www.egyptembassy.net
Me: I did. That's where I got this phone number.
Her: Click on "visa" if you have questions.
Me: I did. The answers were not there. That is why I am calling.
Her: Are you sure you visited the right website? w-w-w-dot-egypt-embassy-dot-net?
Me: Ma'am, I have been on the visa section of your website all morning. I got the right phone number and application but I still have a question that is not answered on your website.
Her: Click on visa.
Me: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! WHY WON'T YOU JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION? I'LL JUST GET THE STUPID VISA UPON ENTRY INTO EGYPT. (click - hangs up on consulate woman)
(Law-rah, while you may be an idiot, at least you are not as stupid as her.)
Stressed much?
Labels: Bar Exam, Idiot, Pissy
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Dear Self-Important Asshat at the Indian Embassy This Morning,
You poor thing. The way you were treated at the consular's office was really just abominable. I mean, the nerve of them making you wait in line with all of us commoners! I did notice your frustration, as did everyone else waiting patiently in that line. We felt bad for you, really.
I quite liked the little routine you were doing and I was just surprised it didn't work. How did it go again? Oh yes...sigh loudly, lean on the chair to your right, then to your left, sigh, pull out blackberry and make phone call, put blackberry back in pocket, sigh, push your sleeves up one at a time, shuffle papers, sigh, pull out blackberry and send email. I really have no idea why that didn't make the line go any faster. I mean, you repeated the routine a few times even mixing things up a bit. Perhaps next time if you sigh a little more that would work.
Oh, and to top things off, the nerve of the woman at the window! How dare she not accept your visa paperwork because you didn't have two photos stapled to it. I mean, this tidbit of information is only available on the website, the checklist, the signs in the room, and inside the big empty box on the front of the application reading "STAPLE TWO PHOTOS HERE." How were you supposed to know that the photobooth when you walked in actually served a purpose? I mean, to make you get out of the line and properly finish your application before turning it in? Absurd!
Sir, on behalf of all of us peons, I really do apologize for any inconvenience you encountered. It was such a pleasure spending 45 minutes of my morning with you,
Law-Rah
Friday, June 15, 2007
Basic Non-Moron-Behavior Tips
Dear Girl that Sits One Row in Front of Me and One Seat Over,You are really starting to annoy me. Okay, truth be told you have annoyed me from day 1, but the closer we get to July 24, the less I feel like putting up with stupid sh*t. You see, I feel like at this point in our (post law school) adult lives, there are certain amounts of classroom-etiquette we should just know. Oh no, darling, this is not me being unreasonable, this is you being a j*ck*ss.
Okay, the entire row behind you gets that you have some odd fixation with your own hair. Fine. I've seen girls twirl, tie, chew, brush, etc. However, there is never a need to flare your long mane out to the side, then the other side, then flip it backwards, then put it in a rubber band...only to take it down and repeat 2 minutes later. Then again. And again. While I am not keeping observed scientific records, I think I counted 14 times yesterday...during a 3 hour class. Unnecessary.
While the hair thing is annoying, the stretching is even more bothersome. All of use are sitting in the same classrooms for extended amounts of time each day feeling the need to stretch out. That is why we have a ten minute break every hour. To stretch. Now granted, there may always be a need for intermittent stretching. Fine. But really, do it with a little less disruption, will you? If your arms are stretching in a manner that results with your finger in a position to pick the nose of the girl behind you, then you are doing something wrong. Try stretching forward into your own damn personal space.
Don't get me started on when you do the mane-flipping in conjunction with the stretching. If my friend is finding your hairs on her space bar, again, you are doing something wrong.
I apologize (no I don't) for the tone of this email, but I must say that if the other 100 people in the room know this basic etiquette, I don't see why I should have to explain it to you.
Your BarBri Classmate,
Law-Rah
P.S. If you think I'm annoyed, you should hear from my friend who sits behind you. All I'm saying is that when I offered to bring some hair-cutting shears to class, she said there was no need, she would simply pull it out next time.
Labels: Bar Exam, Barbri Sucks, Idiot, Pissy
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
A few threads short of a sweater...er, pants
Oh man, how did I not hear about this already?Pearson, who apparently side-lines as a lawyer/judge, is suing a DC neighborhood drycleaner for a lost pair of pants...to the tune of $54 million. (I should note that he reduced his initial claim of $65.) Of course the concept in-and-of itself, while frivolous, is quite amusing. More amusing, however, is reading about the trial so far:
...Pearson, an administrative law judge, broke down while testifying about the emotional pain of having the cleaners give him the wrong pants. It was before an 89-year-old woman in a wheelchair told of being chased out of the cleaners by an angry owner. And it was before she compared the owners of Custom Cleaners in open court to Nazis....
Seriously, the guy had to take a 5 minute break to dry his tears during his testimony about his pants. If you have a spare moment, I recommend reading Emil Steiner's live blog of the trial.
I think the craziest part is Pearson seems to actually believe that he is representing every resident of DC in his quest to become a millionaire off of a mom and pop Korean drycleaner. Today is cross-examination which is the defense's opportunity to impeach Pearson's credibility. Oh this should be good. Seriously, why else would someone work over 1400 hours on such nonsense if he wasn't a little "off"?
Thanks for the head's up, DCSC!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
How to ruin ice cream...
Offer to make homemade ice cream to cheer up a down friend.After she chooses cherry (over lemon), head to the kitchen with the recipe book.
Take out the bowl and spend well over 30 minutes (de)pitting the cherries (with love).
Follow direction leaving last few steps until you get to friend's house.
Later, when you are ready for ice cream, begin hand whipping the cream.
Continue while another friend judges your whipping abilities.
After your arm gets tired, pass the whipping off to other friend.
When other friend gives it back to you so you can finish, continue whipping and forget to pay attention because you are engrossed in the really bad dancers on some reality tv show.
Look down and realize the cream you were whipping that was supposed to be thick and creamy is now thick and chunky.
Put all the ingredients in the ice cream maker and hope it all turns out okay.
Watch the looks on your friends' faces as they attempt to swallow the spoonfuls of frozen curdled cream.
Call friend's man and have him pick up ice cream on his way home.
Moral of the story from Baking911: If you whip too long, the cream can curdle and separate. That's because prolonged beating has warmed the cream.