The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...

Friday, June 15, 2007

Basic Non-Moron-Behavior Tips

Dear Girl that Sits One Row in Front of Me and One Seat Over,

You are really starting to annoy me. Okay, truth be told you have annoyed me from day 1, but the closer we get to July 24, the less I feel like putting up with stupid sh*t. You see, I feel like at this point in our (post law school) adult lives, there are certain amounts of classroom-etiquette we should just know. Oh no, darling, this is not me being unreasonable, this is you being a j*ck*ss.

Okay, the entire row behind you gets that you have some odd fixation with your own hair. Fine. I've seen girls twirl, tie, chew, brush, etc. However, there is never a need to flare your long mane out to the side, then the other side, then flip it backwards, then put it in a rubber band...only to take it down and repeat 2 minutes later. Then again. And again. While I am not keeping observed scientific records, I think I counted 14 times yesterday...during a 3 hour class. Unnecessary.

While the hair thing is annoying, the stretching is even more bothersome. All of use are sitting in the same classrooms for extended amounts of time each day feeling the need to stretch out. That is why we have a ten minute break every hour. To stretch. Now granted, there may always be a need for intermittent stretching. Fine. But really, do it with a little less disruption, will you? If your arms are stretching in a manner that results with your finger in a position to pick the nose of the girl behind you, then you are doing something wrong. Try stretching forward into your own damn personal space.

Don't get me started on when you do the mane-flipping in conjunction with the stretching. If my friend is finding your hairs on her space bar, again, you are doing something wrong.

I apologize (no I don't) for the tone of this email, but I must say that if the other 100 people in the room know this basic etiquette, I don't see why I should have to explain it to you.

Your BarBri Classmate,

P.S. If you think I'm annoyed, you should hear from my friend who sits behind you. All I'm saying is that when I offered to bring some hair-cutting shears to class, she said there was no need, she would simply pull it out next time.

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