The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Off-BalanceI feel like I'm losing control. Not in the "I'm in the middle of the ocean with no one around and the water is rising over my head" sorta way. More like the "I'm sitting on the roof of the building at the local trash dump watching the bulldozer move things around and load up the pile that use to be my life into an unrecognizable heap" sorta way. I knew the end of law school would bring about changes. I love change. I used to re-arrange all the furniture in my apartment at least once every six months so it felt "new". Well, I usually love change.
For some reason, the bulldozer's act of taking from so many other piles and dropping it onto my formerly organized pile is really getting me unsettled. Each of the changes in isolation are good things (or at least not bad) and easily handleable. But taken together, I'm beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. Good friends are becoming distant friends, weekly friends are becoming daily friends, contrasting personalities, merging worlds, learning at a different school with a lack of familiar faces, completely changed study habits, new living situation (I love you, V), and I have no time for the people I need most right now. Did I mention I am taking the bar exam in a couple of months then am embarking on an entirely new career? Again, bring on one or two of these, and I wouldn't blink an eye. Taken all together, I feel like an outsider looking into my own trash-pile-o-life.
I really need my groove back! Just not sure how to do that.