The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...

Monday, October 30, 2006

If you can't say something nice...shut the hell up.

I consider myself very respectful of most people, especially those older than me. However, there is a line...a line that once crossed, all bets are off. I had the most fascinating conversation with one of the women attending my friend's wedding. I was riding in the back seat on the way to the bridal luncheon while bride's mom drove and bride's mom's friend (BMF) sat in the passenger seat. To put this in context, you should imagine BMF as a 50 year old woman from old Texas money with a thick southern accent. The convo went something like this:

BMF: So, how do you know the bride?
Me: We were in the same sorority but at different schools. We met at an alumni function.
BMF: Oh. So, are you engaged?
Me: (woah, left field!) Um, no ma'am.
BMF: Well, don't you worry about that. I am sure there will be some single young men at the reception.
Me: Oh, I'm not worried about it. I'm not exactly available.
BMF: What do you mean?
Me: I'm actually in a long distance relationship.
BMF: Oh, sweetie, those things never work.
Me: (pause)
BMF: They just don't.
Me: Well, I think we have something pretty special so right now, we are both trying our hardest to make it work.
BMF: Well, it's not going to be easy.
Me: I'm learning that, but we are in this together.
BMF: Where is he?
Me: London.
BMF: Oh, that doesn't stand a chance.
Me: (irritated) You know what, ma'am -
Bride's Mom (interrupting) - Well, Law-Rah has a trip planned to London in a few months. They are spending Christmas and New Year's together.
BMF: Well, I had a long distance love once. Like you, I thought it was real. We were going to get married and have a life together. One day, he was gone and my heart was broken. He will break your heart.
Me: (in a pretty snotty tone) Considering I have had my heart broken a few times in D.C. proper, I am willing to venture out. Besides, I am very happy right now and isn't that all that really matters?
(car gets silent for a little while...I think someone makes a reference to the rain)
BMF: What does this gentleman in London do?
Me: He manages a bar.
BMF: Well that isn't very promising.
Me: (at wit's end) Well, ma'am, considering my last boyfriend was a lawyer making $250,000 a year who treated me like shit and the one before that was a doctor who cheated on me...I'll take my bar manager over them both. But I do so appreciate your take on things.

When we got out of the car and I wrapped a scarf around my head to shield my umbrella-less self from the rain, BMF said "oh, she looks like one of those Muslim women." I thought it best at that point to just walk away.