The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Head (jumbled). (Thoughts) spinning. Can't sleep. So many red flags. Do I head them? Am I being paranoid? Puffy eyes. Need sleep. So stressed out. And sad. Still not sleeping. Can't do this anymore.

Sometimes, things pile up so high and the thoughts get so jumbled I don't even know where to begin to dig myself out. I'm talking one huge 'relationship-family-work-friends-school-future-money' mess. A mess that is bogging me down and growing it's way into every aspect of my life. Writing usually helps, but lately, I can't even form coherent sentences because I just don't know where to start. Not to mention, the words on the paper or the screen don't even scratch the surface. Since writing isn't helping and a few friends are making it worse, I have been attempting to sort through and deal with these things...in my own head.

Let me assure you, my head is the least safe place for these jumbled thoughts to be. Kinda like feeding a gremlin after midnight, my jumbled thoughts just grow and grow and spawn more jumbled thoughts and eventually, I think they grow scary teeth and take over my life. Yep, I'm there. What started out as insecure or confused thoughts has turned into an out of control jumbled mess. This is no good. After taking the first few days of my week away from my thoughts, I have decided that the remainder of my week will consist of days-o-confrontation. One by one (less intimidating that way), I need to handle these situations. I'm not sure how, but I am sure that I cannot continue the same way I have been.