The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...

Friday, April 29, 2005

Date with Crim

My anxiety got the better of me this morning. I could not really understand why, considering I went into my Contracts exam with such force. For about two hours before Crim this morning, I paced around nervous as all hell. For some reason, this test brought along swarms of butterflies to fill my stomach. I don't really know why or how to explain it except to compare taking this test to a blind date.

I sat anticipating the approaching hour not really knowing how to feel. This was all so new. I mean, I had fully accepted the invitation to partake in this. On the other hand, I wanted to run like hell. I had never met this guy before. Granted, I saw him around in the form of past exams on the portal, but this was different. This was just going to be me and him. No study group to supplement my knowledge. I wonder if he looks the same. I wonder what he expects of me. What if I get so nervous? What if I choke up and don't have the opportunity to let my true colors shine? It is hard to know where to begin when something is so new and foreign to my world.

It was so much easier with Contracts. He was like the "ex" that came back into the picture. I knew his quirks and he knew mine. He accepted mine in the form of an okay grade last semester. I know if I am just the same as before, I will do fine. It will be nothing spectacular, but I can settle for acceptable. I know what he expects of me. Granted, we have been apart for a while. But, come on, how much can someone really change? If anything else, I can feel safe. And I did. I felt like we just picked up where we left off, only this time, I brought a little more knowledge to the table.

No such comfort level with Crim since this would be our first meeting. (And meeting at 9:30am under Extegrity conditions doesn't make me feel anymore at ease.) Well, it's time...the stranger awaits.

Well, Crim was exactly like the pictures I had in the form of practice tests. We had a lovely, yet mentally exhausting three hours together. I think we hit it off, but will not be seeing each other again. I admit that I had pre-emptively decided I didn't want to take the relationship any further. C'est la vie!