The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...

Sunday, March 18, 2007

An introduction to Lisa A. Miceli

I have neglected you, my fair readers, and I hope this post will make up for that. I should like to introduce my readers to a bit of crazy...this time not mine:-) For me to explain this entire story to you would take more bottles of wine or time than any of us have. Instead, I will give you some basics and allow you to delve into the crazy on your own. This is a long one, but I assure you, it is well worth the read. Don't roll your eyes. I know you are thinking "Law-Rah, I am a busy person. Why would I waste my time with this?" Well folks, take my word for it, daytime drama and reality tv don't hold a candle to this trainwreck. (If you are really THAT busy, go ahead and skip to Questions 7 & 8.)

Without further ado, I would like to introduce Lisa Ann Miceli in my very own FAQ format!

1) How did you find out about Lisa Miceli?
One Friday evening, I was out with a few good blogging friends. One of the lovely ladies, who is well-versed in sports, mentioned a post she did that day on a woman who claims to be the mistress of Michael Jordan and started a blog to tell all about it. Since the man has a reputation with the ladies, we figured it would be nothing out of the ordinary. Little did we know! By the next day, when I had a chance to read the post, the whole situation had blown up to comic proportions. Not only had Lisa Miceli found my friend's site and left multiple comments but she also sent five emails to my friend within a sixteen hour period. She was angry to say the least. You can see DC Sport's Chick's original post here.

2) Wait, DCSC quotes a lot of things from Lisa Miceli that cannot be found on her site, why is that?
Well, while we were all out that Friday evening, apparently someone was at home reading about Ms. Miceli. They hacked into her blog and her email account and commandeered them both. When hacker took over, the first post said something like "hey idiot, you should have chosen a different password, we got it on our second try." Hacker then posted screenshots of emails from her inbox. Lisa Miceli lashed out at the new author of her former blog in the comment section and then started another blog. When she regained control of her original blog she got rid of hacker's nasty posts, and abandoned the second blog. This means her original blog content as well as the hacker's posts are now lost to the public.

3) Lisa Miceli talks about an imposter website by The Onion. What is she talking about?
If you can imagine, there is actually a third blog in the above mix. The Pepto pink colored blog was started by someone wishing to expose Lisa Miceli. The author copied an article from The Onion and posted it on this blog four times back in January. Incidentally, the article has nothing whatsoever to do with Lisa Miceli. Nevertheless, Lisa began lashing out at The Onion claiming they were making things up about her. This one really had us puzzled considering a search on The Onion did not turn up her name once. We can only assume that she mistakenly thinks the Pepto pink blog
is The Onion. Maybe?

4) Why is Lisa Miceli blogging?
That is a question best directed at Ms. Miceli, as I can only speculate. From reading most of what she has written, I have noticed a few reasons she has put forward. Most importantly she is "penning" a book about her affair with Mr. Jordan and the blog is a stepping stone. Also, she wants to set the record straight about all of the lies that were published about her in the various media outlets over the years. (Interestingly, if you google Lisa Miceli, you will find recent drama surrounding her blog. You will not, however, find a single word written about her in any media outlets prior to her blog.) And my favorite: she is writing about her life with Mr. Jordan on a public blog because it is private and no one else's business.

5) Why are you, Law-Rah, so interested in this?
Well, aside from the shear hilarity of it all, there is a legal aspect that I find fascinating. You see, Ms. Miceli loves to throw around legal jargon and threaten to sue every chance she gets. I found her website to be a great tool for teaching my students why they should think twice before throwing around the legalese they learned in school. Interestingly, she is familiar with some of the terminology, but she is not so well-versed on how to apply it. For example, while discussing a lawsuit filed against her for stalking, she claimed that she was 600 miles away from the girl therefore the statute of limitations would not apply. (Still can't get past that one without a giggle.) Since I began reading this saga, Ms. Miceli has threatened to slap lawsuits on various people for: defamation (both libel and slander), copyright infringement, stalking, extortion, tortious interference with a business, theft of a horse, perjury, conflicts of interest, conspiracy and more.

6) Did you say "theft of a horse"?
Why yes I did! In fact, this may be one of the more odd twists to the story. In one of her rambling posts, Ms. Miceli said that because of her relationship with Mr. Jordan, her horse was stolen. Figuring it was slang of some sort, my friends and I searched every urban dictionary out there to figure out what this meant. Then, we found this website. No slang, an actual physical horse is somehow involved.

7) Who is Lisa Miceli?
I'm glad that you asked. My friends and I have actually been waiting with baited breath for that very question to be answered. Recently, an anonymous good samaritan helped us out. In the early days of February, when things were getting good, some sort of technological blip ended up forwarding over 100 of Lisa Miceli's emails to an anonymous woman (AW). At first, AW wanted no part whatsoever in Ms. Miceli's fantasy life. However, the more irate Ms. Miceli became, the more curious AW became. She ended up reading everything and was so amused that she decided to start her own website and post everything that was somehow forwarded to her. Ladies and Gentleman, this may actually be the best read of the entire drama. Who Is Lisa Miceli? contains emails from Lisa to Michael Jordan, his lawyers, his wife, etc. You have really never seen anything like this. I strongly recommend reading the banter between Lisa Miceli and Julia from the National Enquirer under "Emails to the Media."

8) Any advice on how to read this?
It is not easy. I can only assume that Lisa Miceli does not utilize the spell-checking feature. Furthermore, the grammar and sentence structure is confusing. The most difficult part of reading is attempting to follow the thought processes of the author. I highly recommend
against this, lest you become so frustrated and flabbergasted you end up USING A LOT OF CAPS and pelnty of missspelllled wurds adn ?!?!?!?!

Disclaimer: I contemplated whether or not I wanted to link directly to some of these sites and send traffic their way. On the other hand, you really do need to read this stuff! I do realize that I am possibly inviting some unwanted commenters to my own site in the process so I have enabled comment moderation. Sorry.

Disclaimer for Lisa Miceli: Everything on this blog is merely the opinion or truthful recollection of the author and/or references to opinions or blogs of others. No text was directly taken from anyone without permission. Just sayin'.

This post is copyright protected by Law-Rah 2007. Hahaha.