The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...

Sunday, August 20, 2006


I spent some time this weekend alone. I desperately needed to be alone with my thoughts. Since I have gotten back from Europe, I have been going ninety miles per hour. Friend dinners, happy hours, slumber parties, phone conversations, EPH nights and the like have kept me just busy enough to not have much time to think about things. I took that time this weekend.

It has all been a strange and somewhat exhausting transition back to this life. On July 2, I left thinking five weeks would fly by because in the grand scheme of things, five weeks is a very short time. When I left DC, my entire life as I knew it was just put on hold. I knew it would, but the actual feeling was quite strange. Friends, work, school, apartment, bills, family, TV shows...everything just kept going...but I was not a part of any of it. I spent from July 2 through August 9 in a completely different world and I made a place for myself in that world. I made different friends, ate different food, lived in a different place, walked a different city and had an entirely different life. Five weeks became a very long time. On August 9, I had to say goodbye to that life. Some of which I was more than ready to leave behind, some of which I wanted to take with me.

Upon returning to DC, I guess I am just supposed to pick up this life as I left it. This has been hard for me. Sometimes, I find myself just watching...feeling like a stranger looking in. I know that I am the same Law-Rah, but in many senses, I am not. I am not really sure how to handle this transition. I am confused because when I left DC, I was extremely happy with my life. I could not have asked for anything different. It was a life I thought was more or less all set. Now, I feel differently. I feel as if I found other things out there. Other things I never realized I had been missing. Other things that I want to be a part of my life. But, what life is that? It sounds really strange, but I feel stuck right now. Stuck in the middle of two lives. If none of this makes sense, my apologies...not much inside my head makes sense right now.