The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...

Thursday, November 29, 2007


I can admit when I am wrong. (I can also find ways to shift blame...stupid doctor!) So, my brilliant plan to schedule oral surgery right before Thanksgiving to avoid missing work...well, that fell through. In fact, today is Thursday (one week and one day since surgery) and not only did I miss Thanksgiving, but I still have not returned to work. I am beginning to get a grasp on a misery I have never known before.

Believe it or not, I actually have a high tolerance for pain. Due to multiple ear surgeries, I get to go to a doctor every six months for the rest of my life for him to pull the skin out of my ear. (Imagine someone pulling a scab off of your eardrum.) Yeah, I am honestly accustomed to pain. But this week, my friends, I have felt pain like I have never felt before. The throbbing and the sore and the sheer pain.

The wisdom teeth removal part was not that bad. It's the post-op infection that has brought me to my knees.

I have a huge mound-o-infection on the side of my face. I am on my second refill of vicodin (which is a lot considering I am anti-pain medication). I still cannot chew real food. It hurts to talk (which, for those of you that know me, realize it is extremely difficult to fathom me silent). I cannot sleep for more than a few hours at a time and when I do sleep it has to be sitting up. I have watched well over 50 episodes of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and I am going absolutely stir-crazy in this apartment. The worst part is that I can't even catch up on round-the-house sort of things like folding clothes or decorating for Christmas. Nope, the pain becomes too much after about 30 minutes of being off the sofa.

I have learned quite a bit thus far in my 192 hours on my sofa:

-the saying "misery loves company" is bullshit. Ask my roommate. I am not a fun person to be around right now and I prefer to stew alone;

-although I am not a huge ordered pizza fan, the Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizza commercials have become pure torture to watch;

-CSI comes on four different stations and there is a "marathon" at least once a day;

-when clothes test positive for GSR (gun shot residue), they show up blue in the lab test;

-I am not programmed to sit around;

-I have a great job and I miss being there;

-there is difficulty in taking pain medication that you must take on a full stomach when you can only eat jello, ice cream and mashed potatoes;

-when you tell the doctor that you are an attorney they take you more seriously;

-when the doctor sends you home with a plastic syringe to stick in the wisdom-toothless hole twice a day to clean it out...it's actually not as bad as it sounds.

Wow, what a whiny rant of a blogpost. Blame it on the pain.

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