The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
ReleaseI am sitting alone in my room with only a glass of Cabernet and my thoughts. Oh the thoughts. I wouldn't say they are jumbled or scrambled so I am not sure why I thought I needed to sort anything out. Rather, I just want to sit with them. Enjoy them. I have had so much going on in my life these past six months, I haven't had much time to sit with my own thoughts. Trying to translate these thoughts and feelings into words on this blog is damn near impossible. So instead, I will just sit here smiling and taking in these feelings. I will cock my head to the side while shrugging my shoulder, then giggle and run my fingers through my hair, all the while grinning ear to ear. I will reflect on all that I finished today in my second to last semester of law school. I will look forward to tomorrow...tomorrow when I will finally see him again after 128 days apart. Damn that is a long time. To be honest though, I wouldn't change it.
When I met Ben this summer I did not anticipate ever seeing him again after that first night. A few days later we met up again and by day three, I had secured myself what I believed to be a summer fling. As time went by I realized something was different. He was different. I was different with him. I felt myself falling and I contemplated walking away. Rationally, none of it made any sense. Sure, it was fairy tale-ish and whirlwindy, but how could any of this ever work in reality? We made promises and talked about a future beyond this summer. Still, when I left London, neither of us really knew where this was headed. How could we? How could either of us have a clue as to what four months apart would do to us?
Things will be different this time I see him. We know where each other stands not only with words but with actions. We are going into this knowing each other better than we did this summer. Plus, this time the fairy tale will not have an audience. As much as I loved sharing our story (hey, it's a damn good story) and as much as I know some of you loved to follow along, I'm taking round two offline. I'm gonna need a little alone time with my man.
When I spoke with him tonight, as we were saying our goodbyes we both lingered for longer than usual. There was a strange feeling knowing that the next time we speak will be in person. As I was about to hang up, he said "wait wait. I have something I want to tell you." I gave him my full attention. "Darling" he said "I will see you tomorrow. It feels really good to say that." Yeah, it feels really good to hear it too.
To all my law school friends who finished exams, congrats. To those with exams yet to come, good luck. To those not in law schoo, count your blessings. I hope everyone has a very and safe wonderful holiday season! I will be returning from the other side of the pond just in time to watch the Irish go down.