The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...

Monday, January 23, 2006

Letters to strangers

In the spirit of my quest to not harbour resentful feelings and keep them all bottled up:

Dear Platform Bench-Sitting Metro Lady,
If you choose to sit in the middle of what quite obviously would be enough room for two people, I will clench my glutes and squeeze my ass right in that leftover spot that should only fit 1/2 a person. When I receive annoyed looks from you, I will crank my IPod to decible levels that ensure your ability to listen to "Sunglasses at Night" with me. I will not break eye contact as you stare at me in annoyance. When you refuse to scoot into the 12 inches of empty space on the other side of you, I will fulfill my urge to continuously play with my IPod volume which happens to be in my coat pocket adjacent to you, thereby accidentally bumping you repeatedly. Don't worry, I will apologize each time because after all, I am a southern gal.
Yours truly,
Your Morning Metro Friend

Dear 1L Chick in the Library,
Although I am thankful it is not body odor eliminating from your pores, I would say your perfume-doused clothing is just as bad.
The girl sitting two tables over who is gasping for air.

Dear 1L Dude in the Library,
Whispering is just as obnoxious as yelling if your whispering is continuous and about topics such as Bar Review, Barrister's Ball, and marrying your 1L crush.
The Girl Sitting Next to you who has cranked her IPod up so loud, she has almost burst an eardrum

Dear my friend Mary in Alexandria,
Oops. Are you still waiting on that check from me? You know, the one for $350 to get that two inch scratched fixed. Yeah, well, um, it's in the mail (or at least it will be eventually). Hey, I agreed to pay, I never said I would make this easy for you.
The poor starving student whose lunch money you are demanding.

To the Jackass in the basement study room,
While your "I hate to be rude, but can you two please be quiet, I have this room reserved" is technically correct...it is just wrong on so many levels. Apparently you are not accustomed with how the cool kids play. You do not begin obsessive SOLO room reserving until much later in the semester. If you are studying alone, you do not need an entire room reserved via the portal. Only jackasses do that this early in the game...really. Get out much?
The girl sitting across from you typing as loudly as possible while giving you "die" eyes.

To the Gentleman who walked onto the Metro at Foggy Bottom in front of me last night,
The girl who switched cars (not trains) at Rosslyn