WonL
The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Cherry Cobbler on a bad day
After my last post, I decided to take on the task of actually making cobbler. I'm usually pretty good about reading and following directions but the planets were out of whack yesterday and the world was against me. I call this "Cherry Cobbler Law-Rah Style"Flip open your grandmas church recipee book to the page on peach cobblers. Decide to substitute the word "cherry" for "peach" and choose one of the 4 recipees. Take inventory and find the following ingredients in your cabinet:
1 1/2 c. biscuit mix
1/2 c. sugar
1 c. milk
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
2 Tbsp. margarine
2 Tbsp. cinnamon-sugar mixture
Head to the grocery store for the only missing ingredient:
Cherry pie filling
Directions:
(*note: although non-bolded directions are not crucial, they should be followed for true Cherry Cobbler Law-Rah Style)
- While at grocery store looking for can of cherry pie filling, notice a boxed cherry cobbler that says "just add water."
- Decide, instead to stick to the recipee at home.
- Wait in line at Harris Teeter forever to purchase one can of cherry pie filling.
- Upon arriving back home, realize you forgot your card to enter your garage in your other purse.
- Park Illegally to quickly run inside so you can grab your card.
- Take 15 minutes to get up to your floor and back down to your vehicle because two of the three elevators are broken.
- Park car for the evening. Phew.
- ...
- Upon re-reading the recipee, realize that you mis-read and your recipee actually calls for two cans of fruit and not just one.
- Contemplate cutting recipee in 1/2 knowing full well it would not feed the projected number of people.
- Decide to get another can of cherry pie filling.
- Go to store downstairs in building. Go to store in building across the street. Go to store in building one block away. Contemplate changing to pears because it is the only fruit in a can you can find within walking distance.
- Return to vehicle, return to Harris Teeter, buy one more can of cherry pie filling and a bottle of red wine.
- ...
- Combine biscuit mix, sugar and milk.
- Pour batter into buttered 9-inch baking dish or pie pan.
- Open cherry pie filling to realize you purchased cherries in water, not cherry pie filling.
- Pour glass of red wine.
- Read the back of the cherry can and get really pissed and the person who wrote about how "anyone can open a can of cherry pie filling and pour it in but yours will be so much better because it will be from scratch."
- Consume red wine.
- As per instructions, pour cherries and their water into pot with sugar on medium heat stirring continually.
- Read can again to find you were only supposed to put the water over heat, not the cherries.
- Take off heat and drain.
- Try again.
- Read can to find you need 2 Tbsp. corn starch. Empty cabinets trying to find corn starch.
- Pour another glass of red wine.
- Take cherry water and sugar off heat.
- Go to store downstairs to find corn starch. Got to store in building across the street to actually find corn starch.
- Return home and consume red wine while sitting in a chair staring blankly at the wall.
- Contemplate scrapping the whole damn cobbler and bringing Chips Ahoy cookies.
- Refuse to be beat by a cherry cobbler and head back to kitchen.
- After finishing your own cherry pie filling from scratch, spoon evenly over batter you poured into baking dish about an hour ago.
- Dot with butter. (Or, if you don't know what "dot" means, then cut 2 Tbsp. of butter into little squares and put them in various places atop the cherries.)
- Sprinkle cinnamon-sugar mixture on the top.
- Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes.
- Watch your friends enjoy your Cherry Cobbler. (Or at least pretend to enjoy because you threatened them with physical harm if they didn't.)
- Decide to "just add water" next time to the cherry cobbler in a box.