The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Depression Slump

I was talking to my mom yesterday about the "funk" I have been in lately. I will not call it a depression because I think that word should be reserved for special occasions. However, I have definitely been down more than usual ever. It could be rounding the corner into my second year of law school where no one seems to care anymore (including the professors). It could be all that is going on in my home state right now (that is STILL going on even though no longer a cnn.com priority). It could be that I am just completely burnt out from this summer and still have not had a chance to relax or catch up.

I am not sure what the reason is, but I seem to have little to NO motivation for anything. Not school, not my new project, not my future job, not blogging, not working out, not drinking (now you know something is wrong). No motivation whatsoever. This is why I tried to go into hiding for the weekend. I did not want to see or talk to anyone. My goals were to catch up on school work, catch up on house work, rent/watch movies I have been wanting to see, cook for myself, work out every day, not answer the phone, sort through some thoughts and not leave my house again until school on Monday. I miss having time to myself. Okay, one day later and this has been really nice and all, but there is still something missing. I am not sure if this hibernating thing really works.

Tonight, I got an email...well, an invitation really. It will mean I have to leave the house tomorrow. It will also mean catching up on school work will have to wait until next weekend and the "sorting through some thoughts" may get more difficult. On one hand, this may be just what I need to snap back into reality. On the other hand, as my best friend put it "well, you know you are playing with fire. So, just do not...just make sure...just be careful."

I'll keep you posted.