The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Something hit me yesterday. I don't know why it hit or how it hit, but it hit. And when it did, the tears came rushing. Fuck him for making the tears flow so many days/weeks/months later on just any plain Thursday. I don't know if I heard a song, or if he appeared in a dream or if I smelled a smell. All I know is that out of nowhere he was there again. He was everywhere. Everywhere I didn't want him to be. And I cried. I cried for the first time since I thought I let go.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
RecommendationsBlogging is about way more than just writing a post every so often. It's also about reading other people's creative works. The "I Read" list on the right of WonL is always a good place to start if you wanna know what interests me. However, I have come across a few gems lately that I wanted to specifically share with my readers.
I received a forwarded email of an open letter to the Brand Manager of Proctor and Gamble regarding a certain feminine product. The letter was well-written, snarky and just plain fantastic. I was so struck by the author's catchy writing style that I googled her and was pleased to find that she has a blog. You can read the original letter here. Personally, I recommend you read the entire blog (she only has thirteen posts). Make sure to check out her post about why Kenny Loggins must die and also her nicknames for a kid on her son's soccer team. This woman is downright brilliant.
Those comedic Playaz down in Atlanta have really topped themselves this time. Phil received one of those Nigerian email scams that ask you to send all your bank account information so they can deposit a bazillion dollars into your account. Phil decided to respond and a truly hilarious conversation with a Nigerian "lawyer of repute with many years experience" ensued.
If you love the antics of boss Michael Scott on "The Office" will love this next blog. The That's What She Said Blog discusses the legalities of the comical yet offensive goings-on around Dunder Mifflin. The attorney who writes the blog even tallies up the litigation value of each episode. Interesting stuff.
I love reading The Hot Librarian. I think she's a great writer, you know the kind who just writes whatever pops into her eccentric head as it comes and you sometimes get scared that you are easily able to follow her train of thought. I also love her because she somehow comes across the most amazing contraptions ever. For example: the conference bike. Just. Plain. Amazing.
Last but not least, a friend's younger sister alerted me to Rapex, the condom for women who are being raped. It bites. Literally.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Wednesday Ramblings - LIVEishOh Sangria, how you hurt me.
Miss M got the funniest book EVER for her birthday. And I will never eat brown mushrooms again.
Bug, I finally found your $20. If you can remember my name you can have it back. I have no problem remembering your name since you wrote it across my arm.
Someone take my phone away from me when I drink. Please.
This guy is not very nice.
Neither was the Penguins fan who spent the better half of his evening searching endlessly for his precious hat. Good job Marci.
Thanks for the ride home Mr. Smooth:-)
Is anyone else having trouble with Gmail?
I left my power cord for my laptop at home. Today is going to suck!
I am using a computer in an office at school which does not have Mozilla. WOW, my blog looks like crap in Microsoft Internet Explorer. There are no line breaks. Yuck.
I am soooo tired. I ran out of coffee and did not have the foresight to order more far enough ahead of time. This is my second day without my coffee. My new coffee will not be here for two more days. I am dying.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Writer's BlockI am not neglecting you, fair readers. I have started three posts in the past week but scratched them all because they sucked. So, I shall venture out this evening and search for some inspiration. Perhaps I will find it at the bottom of a glass of sangria.
Am I cool enough to just do an "open thread" and ask you guys to just talk amongst yourselves in the comment section?
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Warning: Angry PostForewarning...I am in an extremely irratable mood. I feel the need to shout multiple vulgarities at random passers-by. Apparently, that is not so well received (I did that yesterday). So, I'm gonna vent here!
Dear Coca-Cola Refiller Guy at My Law School,
Read the f*ck*ng labels. It is not that hard. If the label says Diet Coke, don't f*ck*ng put Cherry flavored Coca Cola Zero in that slot. Period. If you ask me, you should not be putting that cherry sh*t anywhere! If, however, you and the coke folks decide that you want more people to try that filth, fine give away free samples or something. DO NOT put that crap in my Diet Coke slot. Don't think I have not figured you out. You are thinking "aw, what the hell? Maybe a couple of people get the wrong drink. So what." You are thinking that if I (or others) are annoyed enough, then I can read the label on the front of the machine and go to some location six blocks away for my refund. You probably assume that I will decide that it won't be worth my time to actually follow through. Well, we will see who has the last laugh after I go to Costco and buy an assload of your cherry sh*t just to return it to you for my $1.25 refund per bottle. Don't think I won't!
Your thirsty friend.
Dear A**hole Daddy Driver,
Okay, let's have a little talk about strategies for exiting the Harris Teeter parking lot. I realize it can get congested and an idiot like you might easily get confused. There are two lanes, right? You still with me? You may have noticed indications that the cars in the left lane must turn left (for example: the left turn arrow, the line of cars turning left, or all of the left blinkers.) The cars in the right lane, on the other hand either go straight or turn right. Again, I realize things might get confusing for you here. So let me make this simple: if you are in the left lane you never ever ever ever get to turn right jack*ss! As I (being a right-laner) was going straight yesterday, your right turn from the left lane was completely inappropriate. That, sir, is why I laid on my horn. I did not mean to scare the shit out of your young child in the passenger seat, but I figured he should know daddy was trying to kill him as his face was about 12" from my front bumper. A**hole.
Fearing for your kid,
Dear Law School Turner-Arounder,
STOP! Seriously, you chose to sit in the front. That means you get a close-up view of the professor. Good face time. Good for you. However, by chosing this seat, you give up the right to stare into the eyes of everyone else in the classroom that speaks. If someone in the last row raises her hand, do you really need to know who it is? Your full-body-turn-around and head bobbing to get a good view is distracting. And annoying. Face forward jack*ss.
I see you,
Dear WonL Readers,
Thanks for listening. I feel better.
UPDATE: The doctor gave me pills. I am feeling muuccch better now.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
An introduction to Lisa A. MiceliI have neglected you, my fair readers, and I hope this post will make up for that. I should like to introduce my readers to a bit of crazy...this time not mine:-) For me to explain this entire story to you would take more bottles of wine or time than any of us have. Instead, I will give you some basics and allow you to delve into the crazy on your own. This is a long one, but I assure you, it is well worth the read. Don't roll your eyes. I know you are thinking "Law-Rah, I am a busy person. Why would I waste my time with this?" Well folks, take my word for it, daytime drama and reality tv don't hold a candle to this trainwreck. (If you are really THAT busy, go ahead and skip to Questions 7 & 8.)
Without further ado, I would like to introduce Lisa Ann Miceli in my very own FAQ format!
1) How did you find out about Lisa Miceli?
One Friday evening, I was out with a few good blogging friends. One of the lovely ladies, who is well-versed in sports, mentioned a post she did that day on a woman who claims to be the mistress of Michael Jordan and started a blog to tell all about it. Since the man has a reputation with the ladies, we figured it would be nothing out of the ordinary. Little did we know! By the next day, when I had a chance to read the post, the whole situation had blown up to comic proportions. Not only had Lisa Miceli found my friend's site and left multiple comments but she also sent five emails to my friend within a sixteen hour period. She was angry to say the least. You can see DC Sport's Chick's original post here.
2) Wait, DCSC quotes a lot of things from Lisa Miceli that cannot be found on her site, why is that?
Well, while we were all out that Friday evening, apparently someone was at home reading about Ms. Miceli. They hacked into her blog and her email account and commandeered them both. When hacker took over, the first post said something like "hey idiot, you should have chosen a different password, we got it on our second try." Hacker then posted screenshots of emails from her inbox. Lisa Miceli lashed out at the new author of her former blog in the comment section and then started another blog. When she regained control of her original blog she got rid of hacker's nasty posts, and abandoned the second blog. This means her original blog content as well as the hacker's posts are now lost to the public.
3) Lisa Miceli talks about an imposter website by The Onion. What is she talking about?
If you can imagine, there is actually a third blog in the above mix. The Pepto pink colored blog was started by someone wishing to expose Lisa Miceli. The author copied an article from The Onion and posted it on this blog four times back in January. Incidentally, the article has nothing whatsoever to do with Lisa Miceli. Nevertheless, Lisa began lashing out at The Onion claiming they were making things up about her. This one really had us puzzled considering a search on The Onion did not turn up her name once. We can only assume that she mistakenly thinks the Pepto pink blog is The Onion. Maybe?
4) Why is Lisa Miceli blogging?
That is a question best directed at Ms. Miceli, as I can only speculate. From reading most of what she has written, I have noticed a few reasons she has put forward. Most importantly she is "penning" a book about her affair with Mr. Jordan and the blog is a stepping stone. Also, she wants to set the record straight about all of the lies that were published about her in the various media outlets over the years. (Interestingly, if you google Lisa Miceli, you will find recent drama surrounding her blog. You will not, however, find a single word written about her in any media outlets prior to her blog.) And my favorite: she is writing about her life with Mr. Jordan on a public blog because it is private and no one else's business.
5) Why are you, Law-Rah, so interested in this?
Well, aside from the shear hilarity of it all, there is a legal aspect that I find fascinating. You see, Ms. Miceli loves to throw around legal jargon and threaten to sue every chance she gets. I found her website to be a great tool for teaching my students why they should think twice before throwing around the legalese they learned in school. Interestingly, she is familiar with some of the terminology, but she is not so well-versed on how to apply it. For example, while discussing a lawsuit filed against her for stalking, she claimed that she was 600 miles away from the girl therefore the statute of limitations would not apply. (Still can't get past that one without a giggle.) Since I began reading this saga, Ms. Miceli has threatened to slap lawsuits on various people for: defamation (both libel and slander), copyright infringement, stalking, extortion, tortious interference with a business, theft of a horse, perjury, conflicts of interest, conspiracy and more.
6) Did you say "theft of a horse"?
Why yes I did! In fact, this may be one of the more odd twists to the story. In one of her rambling posts, Ms. Miceli said that because of her relationship with Mr. Jordan, her horse was stolen. Figuring it was slang of some sort, my friends and I searched every urban dictionary out there to figure out what this meant. Then, we found this website. No slang, an actual physical horse is somehow involved.
7) Who is Lisa Miceli?
I'm glad that you asked. My friends and I have actually been waiting with baited breath for that very question to be answered. Recently, an anonymous good samaritan helped us out. In the early days of February, when things were getting good, some sort of technological blip ended up forwarding over 100 of Lisa Miceli's emails to an anonymous woman (AW). At first, AW wanted no part whatsoever in Ms. Miceli's fantasy life. However, the more irate Ms. Miceli became, the more curious AW became. She ended up reading everything and was so amused that she decided to start her own website and post everything that was somehow forwarded to her. Ladies and Gentleman, this may actually be the best read of the entire drama. Who Is Lisa Miceli? contains emails from Lisa to Michael Jordan, his lawyers, his wife, etc. You have really never seen anything like this. I strongly recommend reading the banter between Lisa Miceli and Julia from the National Enquirer under "Emails to the Media."
8) Any advice on how to read this?
It is not easy. I can only assume that Lisa Miceli does not utilize the spell-checking feature. Furthermore, the grammar and sentence structure is confusing. The most difficult part of reading is attempting to follow the thought processes of the author. I highly recommend against this, lest you become so frustrated and flabbergasted you end up USING A LOT OF CAPS and pelnty of missspelllled wurds adn ?!?!?!?!
Disclaimer: I contemplated whether or not I wanted to link directly to some of these sites and send traffic their way. On the other hand, you really do need to read this stuff! I do realize that I am possibly inviting some unwanted commenters to my own site in the process so I have enabled comment moderation. Sorry.
Disclaimer for Lisa Miceli: Everything on this blog is merely the opinion or truthful recollection of the author and/or references to opinions or blogs of others. No text was directly taken from anyone without permission. Just sayin'.
This post is copyright protected by Law-Rah 2007. Hahaha.
Monday, March 12, 2007
L.A. HighlightsWe only had two days to spend in Los Angeles so were naturally quite limited in the vacationing we could accomplish. I'd say we did fairly well considering. Here are our most memorable moments...
After we arrived on Tuesday, we picked up our convertible rental car and had some In-N-Out before checking into our swanky hotel. While the burgers were divine, I must say that I found the french fries to be horrendous. Honestly, if I want french fries, give me the real thing. Healthy french fries should be banned.
Back at the swanky hotel, we admired our modern surroundings: bubbly swinging chairs hanging from the ceiling; toys in the pool; artistic light montages on the walls; Californians playing on their laptops and of course an aquarium in the lobby where a woman lives at night.
We got dolled up and headed to Santa Monica so my friend could attend her reception and I could wander the beach. I did some great shopping around the 3rd St.Promenade and watched the sunset near the Santa Monica pier.
We had dinner at the Border Grill and were treated to great food and even better service. I was quite surprised at how downright nice most of the people in L.A. were. I had always heard of the stereo-typical southern Californian and let's just say I was not expecting much. I was pleasantly surprised. So much so that I asked the waiter to come home with us. After seeing the excitement on his face, I clarified that I didn't mean "home" back to our hotel, I meant "home" back to D.C. I explained to him that an attentive, knowledgeable, polite server could make a killing in our nation's capital. He came back to our table three times to thank us for our very kind words. He even brought us each coupons for $20 off. After bidding Jonas the waiter farewell, we headed back to the hotel to peruse the mini-bar and play in the expensive robes on the balcony.
On our second day, we woke up early, put on the sunscreen, put the top down and headed up the Pacific Coast Highway (or "PCH" for those in the know) to Malibu. I had been told by more than one person that this was the most beautiful amazing drive in the country. I'm might have to disagree.
Don't get me wrong, it was pretty, but I think "amazing" or "breathtaking" might take it a little too far. I hear things are supposed to get better north of Malibu but we just didn't have that much extra time. We did find ourselves a secluded beach to stop and play on the rocks.
The drive was still worth it as we rather enjoyed having the top down, hair whipping in the wind and sun beaming on our faces.
Back in town, we did the Hollywood thing for a few hours. We saw some shiny gold stars and some footprints and handprints and a really amazing view of the sign.
We got dolled up again and hit Sunset Boulevard for some adult beverages. The night was fairly uneventful minus that little issue of the hot bartender accidentally giving away my credit card to another girl. He leaned in all cute and charming holding a credit card with a "sweetheart, I have some bad news." He said that it was an honest mistake considering I had a last name very similar to the other girl. I tried to keep my bitchiness to a minimum as I expressed my doubt that her last name was actually anything like mine (it's pretty unique). We had about twenty minutes of discussion that included the manager and some complimentary drinks and profuse apologies. When I asked Hottie Mc.Bartender to see the other girl's card I noticed that her last name was like mine. In fact, it was mine. In a crazy turn of events, he had actually given the other girl her own credit card. After fending off many-o-drunks during our brisk walk up Sunset Boulevard back to our hotel, we ended our night by giggling incessantly over the condoms in the mini-bar.
And folks, that's L.A. for ya.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Warped Frame of MindI have done so many practice questions and practice tests in the past few days that I really started to get the hang of it. Perhaps a bit too much. During the actual exam this morning, when I got to the question at the end that asked how much time I spent studying, I handled it much like every other question (by having a conversation much like this in my head):
Okay, (A) says "none" but I studied, so I can cross that answer off.
That leaves three answers.
Skip to (D) and haha, there is no way I spent that much time, cross that one off too.
Easy, I'm down to two answers. I can do this.
(B) says 1-15 hours and (C) says 15-30 hours.
Crap, I have no idea how many hours I spent studying.
But, there is more. Both answers also break it down into days or half days.
Did I spend two full days or four half days? If so, then (B)
Did I spend more than two full days but not as much as four full days? Then (C)
Wait, it's all getting blurry now.
Does it really matter how I broke my time up?
Or is this just the test-maker's way of obscuring the answers?
I'm going back to the hours.
Okay, so I studied on the flight, but took a one hour nap. I studied all day yesterday. What time did I wake up? Don't forget to subtract that trip to CVS to print out the 2"x2" photo. And the two showers I took to wake myself up. Okay so that's 5 minus 1 plus 4 plus 3 plus...wait a damn minute. None of this matters. This is an optional question. What in the hell am I thinking?
And now the MPRE is done.
Friday, March 09, 2007
BarBri Comedy HourL.A. was downright amazing! I will get to that later because right now, I am stuck frolicking in MPRE land since I am taking the test tomorrow morning. The MPRE is the portion of the Bar Exam that tests how ethical lawyers are. [Insert lame joke here.] Anyway, I thought I would enlighten you as to an example of what I learned at my MPRE review session:
In discussing the rule against sexual relations with clients, the BarBri man on the video says with a huge smile on his face "you know, it's just not a good idea. If you become involved you should really just pull out, er, um, withdraw, er, um, you can't represent that person."
Oh, those funny lawyers.
Labels: Bar Exam
Sunday, March 04, 2007
A very well deserved breakLast minute flight...booked.
Trendy hotel...paid for.
Sexy brown dress...purchased.
Now, if only I could finish this pesky 5,000 word paper before I leave on Tuesday.
...here we come.