The random thoughts of an architect-turned- lawyer from the deep south living in Washington, DC...
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Deep thoughtsToday, since I am done with class for a few weeks (and finally sober), I am taking time to think about things that really matter in life, you know, to ponder the things I have always wondered about. For instance, do you ever think Ponyboy Curtis will be okay? That kid really went through a lot. First, someone tries to drown him, then he regains consciousness next to a dead guy, his best friend speaks his last words to him then dies, and finally he witnesses the cops shoot another close friend in the middle of the street. I cry just watching his life unravel. Do you think any amount of therapy will fix this for him?
Thursday, July 28, 2005
RandominityIt's the night before my exam and I pretty much don't care. I love chardonnay!
Um, so the elevator in my building smells like feet. Seriously. I really get annoyed when I step on with some dude who had on WAY too much cologne. I am even more annoyed getting on an elevator in which there are no people, but their scent lingers...especially if their scent smells like feet.
My work sent me a fruit basket today. It was a good luck on exams thing. I realize that's a normal law firm thing to do and all, but I still felt special. It may have been a "pity" fruit basket considering the rest of the summer associates spent the evening at dinner and a show in NYC and I spent mine at school prepping for final exam from hell. Either way, it was tasty. I walked upstairs and brought my property professor an apple. Remember in the old days when students used to bring teachers apples? Yeah, me neither. I was just really trying to dole out as much fruit as possible because the damn basket was heavy. Not to mention, it's not like anyone can claim bringing the teacher an apple in law school makes you a suck up. (yeah...readers who witnessed this, I know you were thinking it!)
Seriously, though, law school exams are graded anonymously. Besides, I am so far from the pointy grade in this class, no amount of fruit can help me!
I really wish the people downstairs yelling would shut up! Don't you realize I am trying to have some peace and quiet on my balcony listening to the humming of the air conditioner above my head?
I found a really good parking spot right in front of my building. Good, except that I have to get up to move my car at 8am. That's early. However, it will not be as early as I have to get up on Friday. The day after my exam (which means the day after heavy alcohol consumption after my exam)...I have to be at work for 7:30 to spend an entire day doing "Buildable Hours" in the D.C. heat. I am so excited. Really. I spend the entire summer missing things like happy hours, welcome receptions, bowling nights, etc...but, I can be there to stand outside, presumably extremely hungover, for SEVEN hours in the worst heat wave DC has ever seen. If any of my classmates are reading this and you feel the need to throw me down a flight of stairs after the exam tomorrow, please do:-)
I don't know how to cut a pineapple. Sorry to keep going back to the fruit basket, but I have never gotten a basket full of fruit before. It's always flowers or balloons (if it's anything). Now, I get fruit. That's cool...except I don't know how to cut a pineapple.
I did my OCI bids today. HAHAHA. And that is all I have to say about that. "How did I narrow down which firms I should grace with my interviewing presence" you ask? I will tell you...I walked into the office of my next door neighbor at work and said "okay, D, I am going to read you some firm names and either smile or frown...whatever pops in your mind first." Disclaimer: this is SO NOT an exaggeration. With the exception of about six firms I think might actually work for me next summer, I actually let a co-worker choose the rest for me. Especially since the people who read this who are not in law school keep saying "what the hell is OCI"? Patience my friends, let me figure out what the hell a fee simple subject to condition subsequent is first. You know, of all of the archaic property terms, that one is my favorite. Mostly because for the love of God, I cannot say it. Aloud. Correctly. Oh well.
Next week is my last week of work. Shit, I need to book a flight to Houston. Yeah, since it is not hot enough here for me, I figure I'll head down south. Next Friday we are taking a "sailing" trip, traveling aboard the schooner that was used in Wedding Crashers. Maybe I should see the movie. I just dictionary.com'd the word schooner to make sure I am spelling it right and found it also can mean "A large beer glass, generally holding a pint or more." That's pretty cool.
Okay, my glass of wine is empty. I'm going to bed.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Dear My Law School,
In addition to taking all of my money, as well as money I don't have, you have held a lot of my time commitments in the palm of your hands this summer. Right now, I am not very happy with your lack of coordination of my, and quite a few of my classmates', schedules. I'm really not sure who came up with the brilliant idea to have all bids due for OCI the day before a final exam, but they should be fired...and then tortured.
That is all,
Monday, July 25, 2005
Emotion and sweatOkay, so since I seem to have
Moving on...do you know what is worse than a scorching hot and humid D.C. July day? Not having air conditioning when you get to work on the above referenced day. Yeah, that was fun. And, by "fun", I mean miserable, sickening, perspiration filled and musky. Did you ever want to know how to piss off a bunch of lawyers? Well, putting them in a 90 degree work environment in suits will do the trick. Luckily, I had on a camisol, so I was able to shut my door, strip down, and put a fan on myself. Wasn't so bad. Funniest part of all was the comment I heard on the stairs "I would kick the shit out of the contractor of this building if they weren't one of our clients."
Sunday, July 24, 2005
A rare glimpse into the "other" side of me...Reading another blogger recently and also some deep conversations with ML have got me thinking a lot about relationships and the lack of one in my life. Please let me prelude this by saying I am happy. I come from a good family; I am luckily healthy; I am getting a great education, in a great city, on my way to a hopefully very fulfilling second career; and I have the most amazing friends a girl could ever dream of. I've worked hard to get to where I am and I am very happy to be here. I've lived my life on a mission (not quite sure for what) but guys were second to my "real goals and ambitions". Not saying it's a fear of commitment, per se, it's just that I have always lived thinking I will not give up my life for some guy. I've lost some really great guys because of this. Sometimes, though...sometimes I think I would give it all up to meet "him". I look around at people in my life that are blessed with having found their soulmate and I wonder if everyone is so lucky. I have had some wonderful relationships in the past (and some bad ones to go along with it) but I still wonder if "he" will ever come along. Maybe he has and I was too stubborn to see him. I think that is what I fear the most. I look at some of my past blunders and I can't help but think they would've turned out so differently "if only..." I wonder if this is not some circular universe that I live in thinking that I have to build up these walls because of a fear that I'll never find him when in actuality the walls are keeping him away.
I want someone who will ask me how my day was and really really care. I want someone who will stand behind me, no matter what, yet challenge me to be a better person. I want someone worth being a better person for. I want him to lay with me on the sofa and watch cheesy movies just because being in each others arms matters way more than whatever is on t.v. I want someone to need me, but yet see straight through me to know that I need him too. I want someone who, when invited to things, automatically gets two tickets because he wants me there. I want someone who leaves post-it notes on my mirror telling me I am beautiful. I want to sit outside at a restaurant on a breezy night and discuss my dreams with someone who wants to be a part of them. I want someone to talk to his friends about me. I want to like his friends. I want someone who loves his family and wants me to love them too. I want someone to slow dance with. I want someone with whom I can have the best conversations in the world without speaking a word. I want to be able to lay in the dark and listen to jazz with him while the rain beats down outside. I want someone who has his own life, his own friends, his own world...and he wants to let me be a part of it. I want someone to go with me to the Washington Monument and stand as close as possible and just keep looking up until we are both so dizzy we can't stand up. I want a first date. I want to get those nervous feelings in my stomach every time he is around. I want to think about him when I am picking my outfit out in the morning. I want him to call me just to say hi. I want someone to know I am full of shit when I say I don't want kids and I am never getting married. I want someone to make me quit fighting and quit running. I want to love and to be loved.
Okay, once this chardonnay wears off, I am probably REALLY going to regret posting this!
Ingredients for a nice evening:
+a glass of chardonay (okay, a bottle)
+a 14th floor balcony with a view of the Washington Monument
+a hatred for Property
Saturday, July 23, 2005
My best friend...Last week, I went to a BBQ of a co-worker in suburban Virginia. She had drawn everyone a map of where to park with directions to walk to her house, which was a bit of a trek. After parking my car, I was approached by a woman in a minivan asking if I needed a ride. As I looked up, I saw that "Shuttle to Wendy's BBQ" was painted all over the car. In the ride over to Wendy's, I found out that all day long, she was going to drive back and forth to pick people up and drop them off. All day. She was not going to be at the bbq, she was simply going to drive back and forth to make sure Wendy's guests would be happy. She called it "best friend duties". I told her Wendy was lucky to have such a great friend. I'm not sure I would be willing to do what she was doing. She said "we have been through hell and back together. She would do it for me." Powerful words. Not too many people can say they have friends like that.
Last night, I realized I do have a friend like that. Well, I've actually known this for years, but have sometimes lost sight of it. It all came flooding back last night. My childhood best friend, ML, is in town (Baltimore, actually) for a week. We hung out last night and it was one of those times where you just pick up where you left off. I haven't seen her in a year and have probably only talked to her two or three times in that year. It was as if it had only been a week. Most importantly, for the first time in years, I felt like ML really needed me and I miss that feeling. You remember when you are young and you have that "best friend" that you cannot do anything without? That was us. The first day of fifth grade, when I was at a new school, with all new people, it was ML who had an empty seat next to her and said I could sit next to her. We've been best friends ever since. For years, where one of us was, so was the other. We only dated boys who were friends. We only went to movies, the mall, etc. with each other. We went to the same schools, we rode the same bus, we lived on the same street, we played on the same softball team, we had the same friends. Christmas morning, every year, my parents would wake me and my brothers up to see our "santa" stuff. Within an hour, ML was at my house checking out my stuff and having beignets with my family. Then, we'd walk to her house to see what she got. We were such a major part of each other's life and while we didn't realize it at the time, we were shaping who each other would eventually become.
All of life's twists and turns took ML and I on very different roads. Her desire to settle down and remain close to her family kept her in Louisiana. My career-driven desire to see what else was out there led me to DC. The road that she ended up on had other people who became really important to her (including her husband). That makes it hard to go home sometimes. I often feel like everything back home kept going when I left and there just isn't room for me anymore. I feel this way a lot. It felt so good to have her here last night. It felt good for her to have the oppurtunity to see my life. We talked. Alot. I realized that with all that has changed and all that we have grown, we still need each other so much. She's the closest thing I ever had to a sister and I see so much of myself in her. We have so many of the same qualities that I can only attribute to spending so much time together growing up. For the first time in years, I realized that even with all that has changed, we still have the same thoughts and dreams. A lot of things in my life have changed drastically in the last five or so years. Some, due to my own decisions and some beyond my control. I take such comfort in knowing that with all of the things I have walked away from, some of them will always be there and just will never change. ML, if you ever read this, please know that when the day comes, I will be there with keys in hand ready to drive that minivan.
Friday, July 22, 2005
"Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding-This is a test-Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding"
This has been going on for twenty minutes and I am about to pull my hair out. I stayed home from work today to study only to find there would be "Fire Alarm Testing" in my building. Not a huge deal...except that my apartment seems to be equipped with a speaker IN THE HALLWAY which amplifies the monotoned repetitive gentlemanly recording.
Going to be a long day.
UPDATE: I just got a visit from maintanence. Apparently, the test must continue (recorded man must keep repeating himself) until maintanence has the opportunity to walk into each apartment to ensure the recorded man can be heard. Did I mention my building is twenty-one stories??? Going to be a REALLY long day.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Google does it againIf I didn't intend to be a lawyer some day, I would choose hands down to work for Google. These guys are just so darned creative. To commemorate the first man walking on the moon on this day back in 1969, they have put up Google Moon. To see the full extent of their creativity, be sure to check out the FAQ and also the Job Opportunities on Google Moon.
Thanks to Samer and DirectCurrent for bringing this to my attention!
Friday, July 15, 2005
sickI wonder how someone like this man sleeps at night.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Advice neededOkay, so I have a dilemma about my future as a student/attorney and I desperately need some advice...
I am now hitting the home-stretch of my summer. Two weeks from this evening is my property exam. One week after that is my last day of work as a summer associate. I have had an extremely stressful, rushed, miserable summer trying to juggle the two. That being said, I think I have reached my limits. I am on the verge of breaking and something has to go. Don't get me wrong, I am neither going to quit my job nor drop out of school. However, what I do need to do, is shift my focus in the direction of one or the other. Attempting to concentrate on the middle of the line at this point is only adding stress that I can no longer handle and is probably going to end with mediocre work on both sides if I am not careful. So, I guess my question is which is more important to "go out with a bang"? Here are some thoughts:
Property class cost me $5k, is a four credit class and will go towards that "oh so important" GPA that people will use to judge me. I have two weeks left and have a so-so outline (made by myself) at this point. I will have to fill in a whole lot of blanks and more importantly, spend a decent amount of time actually getting a deeper understanding of the subject matter. I'm not saying this cannot be done, since I did it during my second semester with two classes...I am just saying that add work into those two weeks and I will not have that much free time to accomplish this. Speaking of second semester, considering I worked my butt off the last few weeks to attain the most in-depth understanding of the subject matter EVER and still came out with average grades, I wonder if turning life off for Property in the next two weeks is worth it. Seriously, due to the arbitrary nature of law school exams/grading, without assurance that my hard work will pay off, I'm not sure I'm up for it.
So, back to this GPA thing. It is my understanding that your 1L GPA is the important one, as that is what potential employers see for your 2L summer job. Right? After that, no one cares. Well, if my calendar is correct, my Property grade will not be a part of this since I have make bids for OCI prior to my exam. I'm not saying I would intentionally do bad. I'm just saying there is a huge difference in stress levels between entering study mode aiming for the "A" and entering study mode just trying to get by. Furthermore, without divulging my GPA, I can tell you that a "low" grade this summer will not kill my GPA. It will definitely hurt, but it's not the difference between top 5% and top 10% of the class (hahaha...that's funny).
Work thoughts: okay, so I had my mid-summer review and things seem pretty well. Rumor has it that if there is even a slight chance someone will have a problem being invited back/given an offer, they will find out in mid-summer review. I didn't get any bad feedback. (Well, constructive criticism, of course...but nothing actually detrimental.) My firm does not make post-grad offers to 1Ls. They invite you to come back for at least six weeks in your 2L summer, then will offer you permanent employment. Boy wouldn't life be grand if that worked out? I work with amazing people in a great location and am doing work I really enjoy. Although I was told 'keep doing what you are doing and you will be fine'...I do feel there are still a few more things I need to do to seal the deal. About a month ago, I took "firm social events" off of my calendar. I have not been to much since I was getting spread really thin and reaching my limits. That being said, I wonder if I should spend the next few weeks actually socializing with some of my possible future co-workers (for their benefit as well as my own.) Not to mention, I could focus more on turning out great work product before the summer is over.
As of now, my days begin at 6am and don't end until midnight. I am constantly shuffling between reading/prepping for class and work assignments, often taking work home and always working through weekends (on work or class). Often times, I am so exhausted and lack focus that things are much harder and more time consuming than they should be. I do not think I can keep this up for two more weeks. In fact, I'm about positive I cannot.
I would love advice from anyone willing to give it. Especially those who sit on the other side of the wall and may know from a more authoritative standpoint what is better for my career (school and work).
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
I'll liveSorry, did not mean to alarm anyone with the last post...especially not to the point of thinking it was "some sort of cry for help, and that you were going to do something drastic". Well, I am thinking of cutting my hair short, but I don't think that will ever actually happen. I was also thinking of picking up and going to Italy in August, but due to OCI (on campus interviewing), don't think I can do that either.
So, there it is...nothing drastic, nothing even remotely interesting.
Except maybe...firm sent me to NY on Monday for training and I stayed here and drank here and it was all really cool. I figured out the hard way that when you are drinking a 'Ginger Fizz' and someone warns you that you are not supposed to chew on the stalk of ginger...you should listen to them.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
You know how you can be going through life happy. You are satified with where you are and who you are and you are excited about the direction you are headed. Then, one day, something happens or a series of somethings happen and all of the sudden, everything looks different. You begin to question every little thing about yourself. Your flaws and shortcomings become so amplified in your own eyes that all of your doubts come to the surface. The good things going on around you don't matter becuase they just can't overcome your own thoughts and insecurities. Yeah, that kinda sucks.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Perhaps not ALL southerners are politeI try to be the nice southern girl most of the time. I will tell you, though, sometimes, the fiestiness gets the better of me.
Yesterday, I was approaching the corner to drive into my work parking garage when this little construction-worker-man standing in front of orange cones tells me I cannot turn onto that street. (Yes sir, I realize there is construction because you are finishing the building in which I work.) I politely explained to him that I work there and park in the garage of which the entrance is about 20 feet away. He actually puts his hand up in the air and does that little 'go away' motion as he tells me I will just have to drive around to come in from the other side of the street to the same garage entrance. Anyone who knows DC knows that there is no such thing as "around the block" cause every damn street is one way and they are never in the direction you need. I went to speak and he motioned me again while telling me "go away-traffic". A little irritated at this point, but I will get over it. I continue driving only to immediately hit a traffic light. As I sit in my car and ponder the meaning of life, I glance through the rear view mirror to notice my little Mexican friend moving the cones out of the way for someone to get through. Keep in mind, the only garage entrance near this man is into my building. Currently, the only tenant of that building is my law firm. He was not letting some construction worker person through. No, he was presumably letting one of my own co-workers through. Then, he let another one go.
Okay, if I cannot enter that street because of something wrong with the road, I can understand. I am not, however okay with selective admission onto the street I work. This is not a yuppie New York bar, you moron. You do not have the authority to decide who does and does not drive on a DC street. Not to mention, why was I shooed off and the others were not? At this point, my car makes a quick u-turn in the middle of the street and I go back to enter my parking garage street. He sees me and starts shaking his head 'no'. Dude, TRY ME! Since I am now on the other side of the street and will have to traverse a lane of traffic, I have a moment to gaze lovingly at my friend. He glares at me and never breaks eye contact as he walks over to put the orange cones back in my way. Seriously, try me! I move forward so I am now blocking any traffic that may come (luckily there is none).
Me: "move the cone"
him (in not perfect English): "I already told you..."
Me: "move - the - cone"
him: "look lady..."
Me: "you know this SUV can roll right over that cone"
him: (moves the cone) (mutters under his breath) "bitch"
Me: "I've been called worse...have a great day!" (as I mimic his little hand motion for 'go away')
Ooo, some people!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
SorryWill resume regularly scheduled postings...eventually.